I went on vacation! YAY!
Heading to the East Coast is a sweet thing for me. It also brings up emotions. I grew up on the East Coast. I was born on the East Coast. I had a home on the East coast for 51 years! I have so many memories and feelings about living there and sometimes I cannot believe that I picked up and moved where the mountains were calling.
No matter how many joyful adventures I have on vacation I still carry stress with me. It's a life lesson for me - to learn to be in the present and let go of the need for perfection. It's no wonder that I had a mini-flare up while I was away.
I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in 2013. Since then it's been a part of my life - sometimes it takes the forefront and other times I simply co-exist with the disease. I take care of myself, eat well and mostly clean and do what I can to reduce stress (a major factor in flares).
Away from my routine for two weeks is a long time for this homebody. I didn't have my weekly acupuncture or food choices to keep me healthy. I slept less than I usually do (traveling to 6 different 'homes' for the trip it's not surprising) and I ate and drank more than usual.
That's enough to gain some weight. On top of that the flare began during my last week. I had my hubby ship me my meds and did my best to stay on top of things, still, when I got back I was in need of some prednisone - stat!
For those of you unfamiliar - prednisone is a steroid and it can be a miracle drug for people living with diseases like mine. It can also help you pack on the pounds and feel irritable (more than usual) and hungry.
Although I was on a very low dose it still worked its magic. I'm flare-free after a low-dose two and half week run of the drug.
I'm also up 3 pounds from when I left on vacation.
I'm okay with that.
As long as I'm living in this body, my number one priority is to take care of it - and that means getting and staying healthy. Sometimes that means drugs that increase my weight. If I skipped the drug to stay at my weight I could end up hospitalized and that's not an option for me any more.
Losing weight and staying healthy is life project, not a specific number by a specific date. Life is going to happen. I'm going to get out of balance and stressed sometimes and I may have to get back on the meds. That's not ideal but it's reality. I'm still below my goal weight and at lifetime, I just weigh more than I'd love.
However, I love being healthy more than anything!
Once upon a time I wanted to lose 30 pounds in a month. Maybe a month and a half. I'd have an "important" date in the not-too-distant future and I'd focus on getting into the perfect size dress to make the event special. (anyone have a 10, 20 or 30 year class reunion?!)
Sometimes I took sketchy supplements. Other times I joined eating plans. My hopes were big but my losses were small and in the long-term - irrelevant.
This time I wanted to do it differently. Sure, I knew I like immediate gratification - who doesn't? Still, the reality is that I gained about 40 pounds at some point between winter 2013 and my all-time high weight in the Spring of 2016 - so why would I think I could lose those 40 pounds in a month or two?
Like many people on #weightwatchers I had one of my biggest losses in my first week - that was 2.4 pounds. I'm in various chat and support groups where people complain if they ONLY lose 2.4 pounds! As I scroll through my weight loss journey I see that I've never lost as much as 3 pounds in one week. There are 6 weeks where I logged a gain - including my Christmas Eve weigh-in where I gained 2 pounds!
You know what though? At that weigh in my overall situation was pretty darn good - I was down a total of 14.8 pounds. Would I have liked to go into the Christmas Holiday having lost 20 pounds? Sure. However, that gain did NOT send me into the dumps and spiraling into the "I'll eat whatever I want until New Year's" place I would have gone to in previous years.
I'm proud of the fact that the very next weigh-in, after New Year's eve and a great week of company visiting I lost .6 pounds!
I'm sharing this to remind myself that it's a slow and steady process that helps me reclaim my life, and to let anyone else who loses in small increments know that it's all okay - you're going in the right direction.
I've been posting pictures of some of my meals on Instagram. (you can follow me here). Looking at all my food photos I'm realizing two things - 1) my meals are pretty repetitive when I "cook" for myself; and 2) They're pretty ugly as far as food photos go.
I'm not going to be a food blogger anytime soon.
As a result I've started tagging my posts with #uglymealweightloss and am thinking of adding #lazygirlmeals too.
I'm really adamant about showing that losing weight:
Each week I'll highlight a few of my meals here, complete with my super-easy instructions and pure #uglymealweightloss photos. I'll let you know roughly how much each meal cost and how long it took to prepare keeping in mind my mantra of enjoying life not spending hours shopping or in the kitchen.
When I first joined Weight Watchers in the fall of '17 I announced at my meeting that my "why" was to re-establish my love affair with food.
My leader stopped for a second and said, "I've never heard anyone say that. I'm going to share it with other groups."
I hope she's sharing it still.
The truth is I love food. I love to see beautiful plating and explore new flavors. I follow tons of food bloggers and can sit for a long while in the book store perusing the cook-books.
When I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis - I think it was 2013 - my food world turned upside down. Food became the enemy. Despite the fact that most gastrointestinal doctors will tell you that a gut disease has nothing to do with what you're eating, I knew that food was a culprit. I read hundreds of books and articles on healing the gut. I tried dozens of eating plans and fasts. I watched myself lose 30 pounds in a few days and then gain it plus some over the ensuing years. I was a wreck when it came to food and I was exhausted just thinking about eating. However my entire days were devoted to eating and thinking about eating. I couldn't stand myself in an unhealthy body and I knew my unhealthy relationship with food was part of the issue. Ulcerative Colitis thrives on stress and a big source of my stress was all about food.
There I was, feeling small in spirit and large in body at my first Weight Watchers meeting and made that big proclamation. Since then I've reminded myself more than once that the reason I'm a big fan of the program is because I've gotten my food groove back! I'm not afraid of food any more and it's become my friend.
I realize that so much of my weight loss journey has been in my head and I see that head game playing out with so many people these days. We can create any story we want to back up any unsatisfactory situation in our life. Weight gain is just one of those situations. Once we agree we're in need of help and have a focus on what needs to change we can begin. The key for me was realizing that >I< had to change. I had to change my mind about food and I had to release my attachment to being a lone ranger. I had to own the simple fact that despite all my reading and understanding about the gut and weight and nutrition, I wasn't actually taking action. (I convinced myself that reading was taking action and that somehow it would work through osmosis.)
Showing up 100% and forgiving myself for being sick and overweight was the first step. Making different choices every day was the next. This is a one-day-at-a-time situation for me and probably will be for life.
The reason I'm sharing it here is because I need to hold myself accountable and remember where I was and where I am now and keep focus on where I'm going.
The Freestyle(tm) program on WeightWatchers (TM) gives me (and you) lots of freedom. It's not really different from the old plan frankly but people get really worked up over changes. (more on that in another post).
I'm not a chef and I really hate wasting time in the kitchen. I only cook for myself most of the time so my goal is to have something filling, nutritious and in line with my weight loss goals in less than 20 minutes. Basically, if I can do this, so can you.
Breakfast is how I set the meter for the day and on the weekends I prefer a nice homemade breakfast over my go-to workday breakfast of a hard-boiled egg.
I'm no food stylist but I do like yummy food that is savory and filling in the morning. This is a meal that you could make any time of the day and it didn't take more than 15 minutes from start to finish.
Add zucchini and broccoli slaw and stir.
Add 1 T of chicken broth and stir.
Crack eggs and add to the hot pan.
Pour in remainder of chicken broth around the edges of the pan.
As the eggs begin to harden, scramble them into the veggie mix until cooked.
Slide onto your plate and add salt and pepper to taste!
Hey! I'm Peggie & this is the year that I'm losing - my fears, my limits, and my ego. Along the way I'm losing weight and unhealthy habits, and picking up new skills too.