When I first joined Weight Watchers in the fall of '17 I announced at my meeting that my "why" was to re-establish my love affair with food.
My leader stopped for a second and said, "I've never heard anyone say that. I'm going to share it with other groups."
I hope she's sharing it still.
The truth is I love food. I love to see beautiful plating and explore new flavors. I follow tons of food bloggers and can sit for a long while in the book store perusing the cook-books.
When I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis - I think it was 2013 - my food world turned upside down. Food became the enemy. Despite the fact that most gastrointestinal doctors will tell you that a gut disease has nothing to do with what you're eating, I knew that food was a culprit. I read hundreds of books and articles on healing the gut. I tried dozens of eating plans and fasts. I watched myself lose 30 pounds in a few days and then gain it plus some over the ensuing years. I was a wreck when it came to food and I was exhausted just thinking about eating. However my entire days were devoted to eating and thinking about eating. I couldn't stand myself in an unhealthy body and I knew my unhealthy relationship with food was part of the issue. Ulcerative Colitis thrives on stress and a big source of my stress was all about food.
There I was, feeling small in spirit and large in body at my first Weight Watchers meeting and made that big proclamation. Since then I've reminded myself more than once that the reason I'm a big fan of the program is because I've gotten my food groove back! I'm not afraid of food any more and it's become my friend.
I realize that so much of my weight loss journey has been in my head and I see that head game playing out with so many people these days. We can create any story we want to back up any unsatisfactory situation in our life. Weight gain is just one of those situations. Once we agree we're in need of help and have a focus on what needs to change we can begin. The key for me was realizing that >I< had to change. I had to change my mind about food and I had to release my attachment to being a lone ranger. I had to own the simple fact that despite all my reading and understanding about the gut and weight and nutrition, I wasn't actually taking action. (I convinced myself that reading was taking action and that somehow it would work through osmosis.)
Showing up 100% and forgiving myself for being sick and overweight was the first step. Making different choices every day was the next. This is a one-day-at-a-time situation for me and probably will be for life.
The reason I'm sharing it here is because I need to hold myself accountable and remember where I was and where I am now and keep focus on where I'm going.
Hey! I'm Peggie & this is the year that I'm losing - my fears, my limits, and my ego. Along the way I'm losing weight and unhealthy habits, and picking up new skills too.